When Showing Up Hurts

I’ve spent years trying to understand why I disappear.

Every time life tightens - deadlines stack, health issues flare, my kiddos need more than I can give on my own - my instinct is to pull away. I vanish from inboxes, group texts, even from my own writing. I tell myself I’m just tired, that I’ll catch up later. But beneath that is something deeper: my body doesn’t feel safe being seen when I’m struggling.