Maybe She’s Not Meant to Be a Blueprint: Rethinking the Proverbs 31 Woman
For most of my life, the Proverbs 31 woman was the yardstick I held myself against - the quiet gold standard of what “godly womanhood” should look like.
She was industrious and gentle, wise and generous, perfectly balanced between homemaker and entrepreneur. She rose before dawn, smiled through exhaustion, and somehow managed to look good doing it. I was told she was the model - the ultimate “how-to” guide for holiness.
And I tried.
I really did.
But instead of peace, I found pressure. Instead of purpose, I found performance. And somewhere between trying to be her and trying to stay sane, I started wondering if maybe I’d misunderstood the point.
It turns out, the Proverbs 31 passage isn’t a to-do list at all. It’s a poem. An acrostic, actually - each line starting with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet, written as a song of praise for women, not an instruction manual to become one.
It wasn’t written to burden women with comparison.
It was written to honor them.
In Hebrew, the phrase used to describe her - eshet chayil - means “woman of valor.” It’s the same phrase used for warriors and heroes elsewhere in Scripture. She’s not a passive portrait of quiet perfection. She’s a living, breathing image of courage.
So maybe holiness isn’t about hustling to become her - it’s about recognizing that you already carry that same sacred strength in your own way.
Maybe holiness looks like the woman who shows up exhausted but still shows up.
Maybe it’s the single mom who holds the world together with coffee and mutterings that sound a little like prayers.
Maybe it’s the one learning to rest after years of believing worth had to be earned.
You don’t have to be a blueprint to be beloved.
You don’t have to be perfect to be praise-worthy.
If you’ve ever felt crushed under the weight of Proverbs 31, I hope you’ll breathe a little easier today.
Holiness has never been about hustle.
Tell me - what parts of you have been told are “too much” or “not enough”? What might holiness look like if you believed you were already enough?