An Honest Prayer for Crossing the Threshold of a New Year

God of the in-between places,
here I am again - standing at the edge of what has been
and the edge of what could be.

I don’t come with tidy resolutions or polished certainty.
I come with a heart that has been stretched, shaken, softened,
and - miraculously - still wants to grow.

Last year You taught me how to align.
How to listen for Your voice beneath the noise.
How to stop contorting myself into shapes that were never meant for me.
How to tell the truth in small, brave ways.
Thank You for every moment You nudged me back toward myself.

But now… now I feel the ache of all I set down while I was surviving.
The parts of me I buried for safety.
The beauty I stopped believing in.
The gifts I pushed aside.
The joy I forgot how to touch.

And so this is my prayer for the year ahead -
quiet, trembling, bold:

Teach me how to reclaim.

Reclaim the parts of me that fear took.
Reclaim the voice I muted to keep the peace.
Reclaim the creativity that burnout tried to smother.
Reclaim the confidence I handed to everyone but myself.
Reclaim the joy I convinced myself I didn’t deserve.
Reclaim the softness I hardened to survive.
Reclaim the self You made on purpose.

Help me gather myself back up without shame.

Help me take ownership of the things You’ve entrusted to me.
Help me walk into this year with open hands,
not clenched ones.

And God -
I don’t want to reclaim only the beautiful things.
Help me reclaim my grief,
my anger,
my weariness,
my healing,
my boundaries,
my beginnings,
my endings -
all of it.
Because all of it is part of who I’m becoming.

Make me brave enough to take back what I lost.
Make me wise enough to know what to leave behind.
Make me tender enough to hold both.

And as I step into this new year,
unwrap the places where I’ve been afraid to hope.
Let me feel myself coming home.

Amen.